Draws my attention to the lonely ache in my heart
Nothing is worse than the wait
Watching the seconds tick by
Between 1:48 and 2:00 in the morning
What am I doing awake, anyway?
Listening to Kenny Loggins
And wiggling my toes
In my Felix the Cat slippers
Somewhere in this sleepy little town
You continue on
Unaware of my lack of you
My hungry heart
Maybe you’re sleeping
Blissfully dreaming of someone else
While I cling to memories of you
All the little things you did for me
Sweet little gestures of kindness
Realities of your feelings
Even when I pushed you away
And hurt you
I remember your unselfishness
And I wonder why I couldn’t duplicate it
What prevented me
From ever serving you
And giving myself to you
Like you did to me?
It would be different
If I ever had the chance
Why did I tell you
There wouldn’t be another time?
That’s all I want
Another time
Just one more time
One that wouldn’t end
I still await the grumbling of my stomach
I missed the 2:00 turning of the clock
Now it’s 2:02 in the morning
And still I sit here
Sorting through feelings
And desires
And wishes
And regrets
And dreams
And the hunger that will not be filled
Might you still be awake
Running into thoughts of me?
Though I doubt it,
I can’t help crossing my fingers
Your dreams no longer include
This California girl who broke your heart
The only door I can enter into
Is marked by a big, black nightmare
I wish you would let me whitewash it
And smooth out that ugly scar
Gravity’s introduction to my eyelids is brief
Before it claims them for its own
Yet still I sit here
Waiting for a definite direction
And a suitable conclusion
Nothing comes
No grumbling stomach
No poetic words
No perfect ending
It’s just me
And a billion thoughts
And hopes
And dreams
And regrets
And wishes waiting for shooting stars
TL
2:15am
5 September 2004
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