Sitting in my health class yesterday
I struggled to keep my thoughts on the food pyramid
Instead of the way you used to look at me
My focus drifted like wood from a shipwreck
Straying far from the shores of nutrition facts
Floating on and getting caught in a whirlpool
Filled with debris from a storm six months gone
Visions of you dropped anchor in my heart
Conquering me and raising your flag in my eyes
Until all I could breathe was your name
II.
This morning I awoke to find
Last night’s companion still at my side
Unwilling to leave,
Your absence kept a night watch over me
Determined to touch the first beat of my heart
At the break of dawn
III.
Yet another hour of class went by
Instead of following the line of kings in Ephraim
I followed the history we wrote
Rises and falls of the heart’s sovereignty
A scattering brought about by my own foolishness
Mistakes that messed up the best thing I had
And, like the children of Israel,
I didn’t catch on until too late
After the pure heart was pierced and bleeding
Can there be a gathering of the scattered?
Reaching into the hidden corners and crevices
Where everything has been tucked away
IV.
Walking away felt like giving up
I wanted to turn around and run back to you
Spilling everything in my heart
That was threatening to flow from my eyes
All the things I confessed to your ghost
When you weren’t here to hear it
But instead I walked on
Blinking and trying to slow my breathing
Replaying the scene in my mind
The hug that might have been too long
(But wasn’t long enough)
The words I spoke to you
(But weren’t everything I wanted to say)
I wish that I hadn’t messed things up
That I had chosen rightly the first time
I cross my fingers that I didn’t do too much
That I haven’t driven you away again
I hope that you can find another chance for me
No matter how small the seed may be
I pray for a way to tell you, show you
That you are everything to me
That my heart beats for you
I cross my fingers
But I try not to hold my breath.
TL
7:09pm
13 October 2004
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