Waiting

Five months

And I finally picked up the phone

To dial your number

Wanting you to answer

But begging you not to

On the verge of bearing a yellow streak

I heard your voice on the line

A welcome shock

Almost unbelievable

It had been so long

Too long

I want to talk to you

I want to spill my heart

And wash away the stain

With my tears

But you probably didn’t know

And so you agreed to a talk

Whether because you want to

Or out of a sense of duty

You agreed

Now all I can do is wait

And hope that I find the right words

Cross my fingers

And my heart

Fidget my fingers

And breathe deep, nervous breaths

I think I know what will happen

You’ll tell me you moved on

That you finished with me long ago

That life would be better without me

And it has been

But I can’t help hoping

That somewhere

You’ll find a splinter of what used to be

And you’ll give me

The seed of a Truffula tree*

Telling me to plant it

And nourish it

And protect it

And help it to grow

And love it

A new tree

This time

One that won’t be felled

TL

6:07pm

5 September 2004

*Truffula trees are from Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax