Regrets (If Only)

Thousands of miles away

And nothing I can do to ease your pain

I don’t possess the needle or thread

That will mend your broken heart

I am the culprit

The unruly flake of a girl

Who held your heart so closely

Gave it a home

And evicted it with one cruel shove

Sending it plummeting to the cold ground

Shattering into a million tiny pieces

Then walked away

Thrusting the super glue into my pocket

Another Titanic sunk away from home

This time by my cold shoulder and icy words

I look over my shoulder at the might-have-beens

And the possible road forks in our past

Wondering which – if any –

Could have led to a less painful present

I wanted us to last forever

I truly thought that we would

And so I didn’t stop you from falling into me

If only I had known then

That I would only break you

Never in my life have I held regrets

As I do now

Never before have I felt the weight on my shoulders

Of someone else’s heartache

As I do now

Never again will I trust myself

With another’s heart

As I did before

If only I could spare you

Could find the exact moment

To prevent the dagger I left in you

If only I could go back

Could rewind time to when

I should have chosen another path

If only I could find a remedy

Could know where to go from here

And how to right my wrongs

If only I could be your friend

Could help you move on, be happy

And find what’s waiting for you

But I can’t change time

Or pinpoint my exact mistake

Or find where to go

Or serve as a constant reminder

Maybe

–given time–

We’ll find space in our lives

Maybe we’ll run into each other

On a rainy sidewalk

The chance meeting bringing

Smiles to our faces

And laughter to our hearts

Under the gloomy clouds overhead

Remembering good times past

Happy with good times since

Maybe

–someday–

I’ll learn to let go of these regrets

We’ll both be healed

We’ll both be okay

And we’ll both be happy.

TL

1:48am

7 September 2004